Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

Don't let DoS attacks send you to the circus

Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including &quot the sun was in my eyes,&quot why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.

Find love -- it's right there, under the sink

"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous

I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!

Links make the World Wide Web go 'round

I'm the kind of person who likes to know how something works. In a world where many things cannot be explained -- volcanoes, the afterlife, females -- it's good to know there is a logical explanation for Internet linking.

Linking is not a new concept. Marco Polo is said to have marveled at Asia's ability to store files and download directions from Mapquest. How do you think he made it back?

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Random News

Baltimore Book Festival school fundraiser

I plan to attend the 2009 edition of the Baltimore Book Festival ... as a customer, though, not as a vendor. But I still feel as if I should be more a part of the action. So, for the rest of September, I decided to give away a few copies of my workplace humor novel, "The Developers," in conjunction with raising money for Southwest Baltimore Charter School.

GAC: Should popup ads be illegal on the Internet?

QUESTION

Should popup ads be illegal on the Internet?

LINDA: NO

Some pop-ups are necessary, but most are just annoying. There should be a notice displayed to inform you about a pop-up and give you the decisions as to whether you want to view it or not.

NATE: NO

Rush rocks ... the band, of course

I thought I had found some sort of glitch in the space-time continuum. One of the local rock stations plays songs from the band Rush as often as any classic or even current band. But after a trip to Chicago a week ago, where I managed to find myself in the middle of a Rush block one day and not being able to change the channel while "Tom Sawyer" played the next, I realized I wasn't alone.

Richard Simmons weighs in on 'The Developers'

While it's doubtful Richard Simmons has already finished reading my book, "The Developers," it is worth noting that he already has good things to say about it.

Simmons, who is constantly referenced in the book as a lookalike of one of the characters, Rex Burns, recently responded to the book copy I sent him at his Burbank location.

"Thank you for your kind words and sense of humor," Simmons wrote on an autographed photo. "You are a gifted man!"

Big boys Microsoft, Amazon tag-team against spammers

It's not Hulk Hogan and Randy "Macho Man" Savage, but Microsoft and Amazon, two world Internet corporation leaders, have filed a dual lawsuit against a Canadian company to again try to halt spam.

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