The results are in: Bush, Gore lose to The Golf Channel

I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.

What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?

E-mails overrunning a business near you

Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?

An example:

From: Someone

Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM

To: Someone else

Subject: Outside

Did you see that?

Spooky sites sound all right

Maybe you are one of those people who are completely terrified of computers, the Internet and lemon-flavored cough drops. If so, you probably are no where near being able to read this column, and if I had to guess, you are most likely hiding in a basement in Turkey. That is, if they have basements in Turkey. So if you know someone like this, please print this column immediately and send it to them because it could save their life.

Keep your eyes open when wagering online

I bet you $100 you've visited an online gambling site.

Ha! What a trick. See, if you said no, but I had to pay you, then it would be gambling.

Online gambling, much like the beginning of this column, seems to be frustrating and silly. For the sake of every potential column reader, I've looked at a few online gambling sites and come to a simple conclusion -- I am sick of blinking Web sites.

Don't let DoS attacks send you to the circus

Sometimes Web sites don't work. They just don't. There are plenty of reasons, including &quot the sun was in my eyes,&quot why a particular site will not work. It's definitely frustrating when you know other sites are working, except the one you want to go to, The Original World Famous Home Appliance Shooting Page, just won't boot.

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Random News

Book review: "Neuromancer" by William Gibson

For the most part, I'll pretty much pick up and read any book, although I can usually tell how interested I'll be in it within the first 20 pages. I found a copy of "Neuromancer" by William Gibson at (no joke) the dump, and even though I wasn't mesmerized by the jacket text, I thought I'd give it a shot.

Crawfordsville and Champaign this weekend

I'll be heading back to familiar territory this weekend as I host a book talk in Crawfordsville, Ind., at 11 a.m. Saturday at the Crawfordsville Public Library. A little later in the day (3 p.m. CST), I'll be at the Champaign, Ill., Borders.

I lived in Crawfordsville in 1998-99, working at the Journal Review during my time there. I will be discussing writing and publishing at the library, as well as explaining the process of putting together my novel, The Developers.

Everyone's playing electronic solitaire except me

Back in the early '90s, during the golden age of desktop computing (I chose golden only because neither bronze nor ice seemed appropriate), there weren't a ton of games around that were easily accessible. Sure, you could purchase real games at the computer store, or you could borrow your friend's floppy disks for more enjoyment. You could play solitaire or Minesweeper, perhaps even Tetris, and you could switch screens relatively fast to pretend to be working.

The cost of a CD should be exponentially higher, according to the RIAA

The Recording Industry Association of America hasn't been making too many friends these days. I guess I should say that the organization does have many friends inside the music industry, because that's who makes up the the RIAA.

I'm not here to argue whether it's right or wrong to download free music where it's available, or whether it's OK to listen to your friend's "Beach Boys Greatest Hits Album." I'm just here to point out what the RIAA wants you to believe about the cost of music and CDs.

Programming without hands

Some people may think having a job as a website programmer is equivalent to being paid to surf the Web. I have to say to them that they are totally wrong. Or, maybe they are somewhat wrong. OK, they are right much of the time, but still there IS work involved. I'm just avoiding it for a couple of minutes.

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