Find love -- it's right there, under the sink

"Believe it or not, I'd rather clean a bathroom than watch a football game."
-- whatever man said this would probably prefer to remain anonymous

I'll give you three guesses to determine where I found this quote. No, not the bakery. No, not the thesaurus. Yes, an online dating service!

Links make the World Wide Web go 'round

I'm the kind of person who likes to know how something works. In a world where many things cannot be explained -- volcanoes, the afterlife, females -- it's good to know there is a logical explanation for Internet linking.

Linking is not a new concept. Marco Polo is said to have marveled at Asia's ability to store files and download directions from Mapquest. How do you think he made it back?

Do everything but actually compete in the Games

It's difficult to get a good read on the American public when trying to figure out how many people really care about the Olympics. But if any of these people want to explore the Internet looking for more information, they have plenty of options.

Resolving your resolution issues

Let's get to the point quickly here -- all Web sites look different depending on various factors: the type of computer you are using (Mac vs. PC), the type of browser you are using (Netscape vs. Internet Explorer vs. WebTV vs. others), the types of extensions you have enabled (Java vs. QuickTime vs. others), your favorite soft drink (Coke vs. Pepsi vs. RC). It's complicated because there are so many variables, more than you had during your entire high school math career.

Four score and more Web sites dedicated to upcoming election

It's August 21, 1858, in Ottawa, Ill. You had planned on eating your lunch, which consists of whatever they ate in 1858, plus a box of Twinkies, but instead you are attacked by the flock of people heading to the public square. The sun is shining brightly so brightly, you decide it must be 1:55 p.m. You notice two people on stage, both men in their 40s. One of those guys looks just like Abraham Lincoln.

Wait a minute, it is Abraham Lincoln!

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Random News

New website for the new book

I finally had time to update the website design for my new narrative nonfiction humor novel, "Polos to Ties." I just wanted to make it a little more user-friendly so that people would be able to find out more about the book. I'm looking into both agents and publishers at the current time, and I'm expecting to make a decision sometime in the near future. Stay turned!

Chemistry, in letters, and a lot of time

If you are familiar with the Periodic Table (and if you aren't, please have a chat with your chemistry teacher soon!), you might be interested to know that someone has compiled a list of English words that can be spelled with chemical symbols.

No, the person wasn't me. Actually, the computer did most of the work, but Dr. Nandor's Exhaustive Chemical Words Pages shows a multitude of ways to combine elements to form words.

Fill out forms with fury

There comes a day in columnists' lives when they realize they have written

about everything they know anything about.

I realized this a couple years ago, after the fourth column, but now I'm running

out of things that I've even heard of. So instead of ranting and raving about

the commercialization of Valentine's Day or the plight of the American economy

or the Canadian women's curling team or the combination of the three, I decided

to dive deeper into the topic of forms.

Censoring live concerts

If you're AT&T, and you want to convince the American public that you can be responsible for handling the bulk of broadbrand traffic, cutting out parts of live music might not be your best idea.

But that's exactly what happened during the recent Pearl Jam's "Blue Room" Live Lollapalooza Webcast. The event monitor muted anti-George Bush lyrics, which left fans no option but to listen to a censored version of the concert.

Type the wrong URL, your computer could go BOOM!

I have a little extra time this week, so I decided I would find an extremely thought-provoking aspect of technology to write about.

Then I thought, forget that, I'll just put together a couple of essays from my volumes of research on the adult Web site industry. Then I thought, no, I should really save that for something big, like Columbus Day. So I landed somewhere in between for this week's column.

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