Use Napster while you can

I've been trying all day to download Macster, a cousin of Napster. It's just not working. At least I have been able to get a few other things taken care of, such as shearing my sheep.

Search Me

I'm becoming rather disappointed in the Internet's search engines. The other day, I couldn't find my keys, and neither could any of them.

Relax and have some cookies

I was talking to your computer the other day, and he said you were a little perturbed. He said you didn't appreciate me or anyone else, especially NATO officials, being able to find all kinds of information on you. Wasn't the Computer Age founded on simple things, like privacy and freedom to practice whatever mathematical calculations you wish?

Dippin (for new) dots

If you're like me, you could use a big bowl of ice cream about now, and you are tired of hearing dot-com this and dot-com that. Soon, you won'tn be hearing this crap anymore. Instead, it might be dot-crap.

The International Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) has decided to expand the current list of top-level domains -- http://www.thestandard.com/article/display/0,1151,16268,00.html?nl=int

ILOVEYOU -- here are eight million e-mails

Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:

A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from virusdemon@viruscentral.com.

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Random News

Community website (like .comU) purchased by AOL

I found out the other day through an internal company email that AOL has recently purchased two companies as part of its local strategy initiative. I was immensely surprised when checking out one of them, Patch, which is essentially a community-based website geared toward providing info with a small-town flavor.

Grandparents

There are at least 56,828 things to do during spring break. If you have a credit card, or know how to use a stolen one, the number grows exponentially. But there is one activity that rarely gets a lot of hype this time of year.

Some people live a paper airplane's throw away from relatives, but most do not. I'm also betting days, fortnights, maybe even months have passed since your last family visit.

Don't be a Dum-Dum: Finance online

Paying bills and banking online has become the chic thing to do recently, due to the vast amount of information on the Internet and the ease of accessibility.

Internet ties Nelly, becomes No. 1

If you're a little behind and missed it (like me), CNN recently released its list of the top 25 innovations of the past 25 years. The Internet finished first, barely beating out other top innovations like Velcro and the automatic lollipop turner.

What is the largest waffle anyway?

In a previous column, I mentioned that I might try to make the world's largest waffle, and an observant reader wondered what the record actually was.

Of course, I had no idea, so I attempted to look it up. Here's what I found:

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