Honey, I made a homepage

You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.

A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.

Your computer isn't just a fancy paperweight

Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:

1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.

Moving on, but packing few regrets

Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.

This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.

If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.

Soft drink turns people psycho?

In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.

I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.

But Iím also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.

Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donít take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.

Vacations hectic for employees

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

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Random News

First banner ad fairly frightening

I'm still trying to find that person (or animal) out there who enjoys banner ads, but so far, I've been unsuccessful. Even still, it's difficult to discount the fact that banner ads can be effective, even without clicking on them. If the ad has been cleverly designed to resonate with Internet users, then possibly it has done the job.

Gift ideas never out of season

For some people, Christmas is the time of year that

most people never want to end. More importantly, Christmas

isn't over until you've gotten every item on your wish

list.

At first, I thought I had received everything I wanted.

Then I opened some junk e-mail and looked through a

few catalogs to realize all the things I didn't have.

A sampling of a few new reviews ...

Here you go:

- " ... a great writing style, and I always appreciate a dose of subtle cynicism in anything I read."

- "The book was a humorous take on the corporate world, the stress, the relocation, the robot-type of requirement to fit it."

- " ... had me laughing out loud."

There's more on the reviews page!

Give yourself a dollar and find George

From the department of I Don't Have Much to Do Because

My Wife Just Left Me to Join the Shriners:

A friend sent me a link to the site called Where's

George. I

thought I would check it out, thinking the George everyone

Here's hope for unbiased information

Can you believe anything anymore? I'm starting to wonder this myself. I open

the paper and see accusations flung about everyone from Michael Jackson, the

king of pop, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kindergarten cop. Are they innocent?

Are they guilty? Are they both aliens from a different planet anyway?

Amazingly enough, there is a place on the Web that you are GUARANTEED to find

actual facts about many different items. And when I say guarantee, I don't

mean it like, "I guarantee you will enjoy this lifetime supply of shark

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