Honey, I made a homepage

You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.

A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.

Your computer isn't just a fancy paperweight

Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:

1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.

Moving on, but packing few regrets

Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.

This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.

If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.

Soft drink turns people psycho?

In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.

I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.

But Iím also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.

Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donít take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.

Vacations hectic for employees

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

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Random News

Free doughnut at Krispy Kreme for Doughnut Day 2006

Stop by any Krispy Kreme and pick up a free doughnut. If you need to figure out where to find a Krispy Kreme location, visit the website for additional details.

And you thought the Flowbee was bad ...

You are familiar enough with the most recent technological innovations of the 21st century. But before we get too carried away with time travel, it's worthwhile to sit back and relive some of those bad ideas.

You know, just in case you are thinking of the next great invention, and it has already flopped.

'Corporate Ties' rewrites completed

I've made a few adjustments to my new book, "Corporate Ties." While almost completely factually accurate, I have decided to change the names of most of the people involved with the story. Because a few years have passed since the happenings, I think I can be a little more open with people's responses to certain things that occurred. The story line involves following a few individuals through a corporate relocation/layoff process, mixed in with a love story and a large amount of shenanigans. I'm hoping to have the first copies out by Christmas, if plans go accordingly!

Don't cry Mr. Roboto!

One thing I've become accustomed to while working with computers is that they rarely show emotion. I almost said they never show emotion, but my computer got mad and wouldn't let me type that. Overall, however, computers are nice in that they don't attempt to influence you by giving you puppy-dog eyes. The computer usually lets you do what you want to do, or it closes the program and shuts down. But rarely does it laugh, at least in a way that you can see it.

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