ILOVEYOU -- here are eight million e-mails

Maybe I'm in a small minority, but I'm still confused how so many people are duped every so often by an e-mail virus. Let's take this step by step:

A guy walks into his workspace at 7:30 a.m., preparing for another exciting day of whatever. He opens his inbox to find 50 e-mails -- 45 promising him to lose weight, financial freedom or cheap Viagra four from actual friends, probably chain letters and one other with a subject header of "Open repeatedly, this is not a virus," which of course is from virusdemon@viruscentral.com.

Honey, I made a homepage

You cannot escape the Internet. OK, you're right, you can. You can move to Uruguay. But for all the trouble, you might as well find a computer and get busy.

A lot of people have been talking about designing a "homepage," which has nothing to do with your living quarters. Simply put, a homepage is the portal to the most important information on a particular Web site.

Your computer isn't just a fancy paperweight

Computers can be your friends. No, they won't take you to lunch or buy you a drink. But they can do more than collect dust. Assuming you are human (and if not, don't let that stop you from reading), you probably fit into one of four categories:

1. You still use a typewriter, you're still building a bomb shelter, and your best friend in grade school was Robert "Robbie" E. Lee.

Moving on, but packing few regrets

Editor's Note: This was Ben's final column while writing for the Crawfordsville (Ind.) Journal Review.

This will be the last column I write for the Journal Review. I may start them again sometime in the future. I would like to. But for now, this will have to do.

If any of you have column ideas, please still tell them to me and send them. I will keep a list, and somewhere down the road, maybe they will let me do this again.

Soft drink turns people psycho?

In a day and age when there are so many different types of people, with various races, ethnicities and personalities, there is one type I'm more likely to associate with frequently.

I have an insatiable and unconscious desire to surround myself with Dr Pepper drinkers.

But Iím also convinced that most Dr Pepper drinkers are psychotic.

Which comes first is unclear. And calling someone psychotic can be misconstrued, so Dr Pepper drinkers, donít take this personally. But ponder the following arguments.

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Random News

Help me help you with this simple questionnaire

Because I don't know that much about my readers -- for that matter, I don't even know if I have readers -- I'm putting together a short form you can answer while you read. You don't have to, you can just read the column.

Tell me who you really, really want to find

Besides the Slap a Spice Girl game, the most useful things on the Internet are the various e-mail, street address and phone number lookups.

That's right folks! You can continue to stalk that high school sweetheart or the person at the gym until your fingers can't type anymore!

Unnamed musician mad at MySpace

The recent buzz on the news wire is that there's a clause in the MySpace agreement that allows the social networking site a royalty-free, worldwide licence to publicly display posted content.

My reaction, along with the most obvious reaction to this, is simply "Duh."

New website for the new book

I finally had time to update the website design for my new narrative nonfiction humor novel, "Polos to Ties." I just wanted to make it a little more user-friendly so that people would be able to find out more about the book. I'm looking into both agents and publishers at the current time, and I'm expecting to make a decision sometime in the near future. Stay turned!

Meet me at Friendster

I will be featuring the Web site Friendster in my August column. If you are a member of Friendster, add me as a friend and send me any comments you have about your Friendster experience.

Friendster, from its site, is an online community that connects people through networks of friends. If you're not a member yet, join and let me know how you like it.

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