Ticket turns into hassle

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

If you can't beat the heat, join it

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

Choose words wisely

Bad things happen.

There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.

Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.

Grass cutting fun

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

What are fireworks salespeople up to now anyway?

Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.

They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.

Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:

6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.

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Random News

Sports website gets to the bottom, or punchline, of things

If you are any sort of sports fan whatsoever, you have probably read numerous articles on sites like espn.com, cbssportsline.com, etc. You may notice that the links I just provided are not clickable because assuming you are a sports fan, you already have them bookmarked. If you are not a sports fan, you should probably stop reading this, because the website I'm about to list will be incomprehensible to you.

Richard Simmons weighs in on 'The Developers'

While it's doubtful Richard Simmons has already finished reading my book, "The Developers," it is worth noting that he already has good things to say about it.

Simmons, who is constantly referenced in the book as a lookalike of one of the characters, Rex Burns, recently responded to the book copy I sent him at his Burbank location.

"Thank you for your kind words and sense of humor," Simmons wrote on an autographed photo. "You are a gifted man!"

Government ordered to save emails

Remember that email you sent to the random senator about spending money to build igloos in the desert? The bad news is that I don't think the interest groups can raise the $200 million you need for research funds. The good news is that the email could be read again 60 years from now and will never be deleted.

Book review: "Moon in Gemini" by Brandon Bennett

I try to read as much as possible, so I thought I could pass along reviews about good books that I have been reading. Here's the first!

What would it feel like to be able to freely make decisions, without the effects of remorse?

BookPleasures.com: Book a 'a funny and engrossing tale'

John Walsh of BookPleasures.com gives us the latest word on "The Developers" with his recent review. Here are the highlights:

"Many people will find this to be a funny and engrossing tale and will enjoy the ups and downs of the plot and the grotesque bit part characters."

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