Vacations hectic for employees

The world's not revolving faster, nor have its inhabitants been hibernating, but time is moving faster. If time doesn't slow down, it could get pulled over, and it won't stand a chance in court.

Vacations have a lot to do with the insane pace of minutes. No, not the vacation you take. The vacation other people around you take. Many people working at the Journal have taken trips all across the United States, even to Canada. When someone leaves any business for a break, the remaining people must suffer the consequences.

Ticket turns into hassle

Most sensible people would probably concede, pay the ticket and try harder next time. Not me. Finally, Aug. 2 at 8:50 a.m., the charges were dismissed. I was a free man. But the way it happened was a bit intriguing.

If you can't beat the heat, join it

Boy it's hot outside. That's why I'm inside now. People keep talking about beating the heat. You've got to be kidding. You couldn't even beat the heat with a large frying pan. To avoid one silly cliché, I've decided to live by another — if you can't beat it, join it. Here's a short list of things to do to join the heat:

Start a fire — You can burn a lot faster, and burn a lot more for that matter. The folks at Woodstock 99 decided to light a few bonfires, loot shops and get really, really angry. Unfortunately, Willie Nelson escaped with few burns.

Choose words wisely

Bad things happen.

There's nothing anyone can do; they just happen. This past week, we saw our fair share of incidents. Nationally, a man whose life has been in a continual spotlight died in a plane crash. Locally, a young woman was found dead after being missing since July 4.

Tragedies strike at all times, mostly when least expected. There are numerous levels of tragedies, yet they all come back to one thing — loss. Losing something or someone can be devastating. But eventually, the void becomes a part of you, while you try fervently to concentrate on other things.

Grass cutting fun

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

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Sometimes predictions are wrong

It's mildly amusing to me how people -- the media, your next-door neighbor, the waving chicken mascot on the corner of your street -- will make it a point to remind you how right they were about something they predicted. Maybe they picked Florida to win the men's NCAA basketball championship, or maybe they picked Taylor to win "American Idol." But it's interesting to note how hardly anyone reminds you about a wrong prediction.

Sports website gets to the bottom, or punchline, of things

If you are any sort of sports fan whatsoever, you have probably read numerous articles on sites like espn.com, cbssportsline.com, etc. You may notice that the links I just provided are not clickable because assuming you are a sports fan, you already have them bookmarked. If you are not a sports fan, you should probably stop reading this, because the website I'm about to list will be incomprehensible to you.

Spam turns 30, but it's still trying to give away a million dollars of Nigerian inheritance

Just for an instance, don't be a spam hater. You don't actually have to open anything in your inbox with "enlargement" in the title. Just play along for the simple fact of nostalgia.

Dig deep into your inbox

I would gather that everyone reading this column has seen a computer before. I'm also betting that just about everyone reading has an email address, which means this is directed at YOU.

Free doughnut at Krispy Kreme for Doughnut Day 2006

Stop by any Krispy Kreme and pick up a free doughnut. If you need to figure out where to find a Krispy Kreme location, visit the website for additional details.

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