Grass cutting fun

In today's society, there are two groups of people — ones who get paid to cut grass and ones who cut grass only because it's their duty to the country. Actually there's a third, smaller group of people, composed mostly of apartment dwellers, kids and travel agents. But they, too, have either had to cut the grass or will in the future.

What are fireworks salespeople up to now anyway?

Nomads have wandered through cities during the last two weeks, sold their goods and departed for lands of milk and honey.

They don't leave a trail, but their wares do – usually ashes, perhaps a foul-smelling odor but always a glowing experience.

Fireworks salespeople have rigorous lives. I recently caught up with one such seller, Smokin' Joe Romancandle. What follows is his normal day:

6 a.m. Wakes up, sings the "Star-Spangled Banner," eats a Pop-Tart and brushes his teeth.

Shark cartilage possesses a mean bite

Last month I was in Wal-Mart, and I aimlessly wandered into the vitamin aisle. There were hundreds of nutritional supplement items, but one caught my attention – shark cartilage.

Unfortunately, the label contained little information pertaining to what the product actually does, such as make one lose weight or grow a dorsal fin.

As a kid, I used to see "Jaws" on my wall at bedtime. Now I see health companies trying to withhold routine information on Jaws' cousins.

Can you keep a secret?

Can you keep a secret?

Last week, I met with a special agent from the Department of Defense. I had my shrubbery costume ready (luckily, there were no dogs around), but it wasn't necessary. The agent led me into a room in the Crawfordsville Armory, looked both ways and closed the door. The questioning was ready to begin.

Truth, justice and the Southern way

Anyone fed up with the government? Ready to turn in your "Made in the U.S.A." clothing? You could have a chance to do just that — if you move south.

Southern Party organizers have registered with the secretaries of state in Florida, Georgia, Texas and Virginia, according to the Associated Press. The party hopes to establish ties in all former Confederate States plus six border states and eventually secede from the Union, a la the Civil War.

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Random News

Be careful, your domain name might be transferred

Transferring any domain to your own control is about to be come a breeze. Or maybe not.

Starting Nov. 12, the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers (ICANN) began utilizing a new Policy on Transfer of Registrations between Registrars. The policy states that if there is a request made on a domain by someone, and if that request has not been denied within five days, the registrar will be allowed to reward the domain to the requesting party.

Book review: 'Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed' by Jared Diamond

Is civilization, as we know it today, invincible? Considering human existence since the beginning, it's a tough call to say how long we'll survive. On the other hand, it is feasible to review past societies to compare and contrast them to today's world.

To classify Jared Diamond's latest work, "Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed," as just a book about the changing environment would be short-sighted. Diamond's focus is planet destruction, which ranges from damage to land and damage to life in general.

Helping or something to that effect

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

Podcast named word of the year

Apparently, they (meaning the New Oxford American Dictionary) name a word of the year every year. This year, the winner is "podcast," which of course is what a pea plant wears after breaking its stem. Rootkit and lifehack finished behind podcast in the voting, although I'm still not sure who voted. Read more about it on BBC News.

Test your compatibility with celebrities

If you were greatly anticipating my column this week, I have something a little

different than normal in store for you. Actually, if you are really anticipating

my column ANY week, I recommend you seek professional help, because that is

not normal.

I have created a simple compatibility test, which matches you, the

reader with

you, the movie star/singer. If you are one of the 12 selected celebrities

who are on the list, and you find out you are not compatible with yourself,

it's

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