"Springer" a synomyn for violence

Some people eat peanut butter sandwiches without the jelly. Others think Cher was better without Sonny.

But "The Jerry Springer Show" without fights? Could that be possible?

Good prequels

"Star Wars" has been in theaters for two days now. Is anyone still counting? Die-hard fans have probably already memorized the movie and are currently petitioning for title roles in the next installment.

The rest of us, "Star Wars" fans or not, have moved on with our lives. The movie was good, the special effects and sound were excellent, but there are other things to do, like clean the bathroom or raise porcupines.

Helping or something to that effect

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

A crock of a column

Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.

But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?

Brush, but not too hard

There's nothing worse than people complaining about a product because it works too well.

For instance, there's glue. Try using that stuff that holds elephants from a trapeze by their teeth. If you accidentally glue the elephant's ear to the swing, the immobile animal will be stuck forever.

Another example is plastic wrap. You try to wrap something in it, but the stuff just clings together. Being persistent, you try to unwrap it. But the static forces that bind the universe won't allow a simple tug to do the trick.

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Random News

What is the largest waffle anyway?

In a previous column, I mentioned that I might try to make the world's largest waffle, and an observant reader wondered what the record actually was.

Of course, I had no idea, so I attempted to look it up. Here's what I found:

One Web. One World. One Wish.

How has the web changed your life? That's the question that users around the world are answering today to celebrate OneWebDay.

First off, who would have thought to combine capitalized words, minus the spaces, for the name of something anyway? Yes, it was used before the Internet for various things, including the names of racehorses. OneWebDay, even the word form itself, has become something due to this rapidly advancing form of technology.

IDs chipped at Texas schools

Sure, you could argue that attending a public school essentially excludes you from having privacy. But is it really necessary to add tracking chips to IDs for San Antonio students?

Do your friends REALLY know you?

If you're like me, you receive a large number of forwarded emails from friends;

many of them are funny, many are factually incorrect and many are just pointless.

Then again, if you are like me, you have worn an eye patch for the eighth consecutive

year at Halloween, but that's beside the point.

Another popular email forward are those in which people list a bunch of questions

about themselves. They might mention their favorite food, their middle name,

their favorite smell, anything that could help you understand who they are,

Helping or something to that effect

Fold out a brown cardboard box.

Add five strips of tape - three long ways, two short ways - to the bottom.

Stack a layer of canned goods, maybe some baby food and toiletries, followed by a layer of clothes or towels or another random packing item.

Seal the box with five more pieces of tape, load it and be ready for another.

Crawfordsville residents weren't moving, but they were following a recipe for others who were. No one really knew who they were helping, but the cars of goods rarely stopped last weekend at the Hoosiers Helping the Heartland drive.

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