Buy now.. low price... lifetime guarantee

One big disadvantage working at night is the television quality when I arrive home. Sometimes there could be a "Perfect Strangers" rerun or two, and possibly an old game show, but most channels are overrun by infomercials.

Webster defines an infomercial as "a long television commercial, often made to resemble a talk show, educational demonstration, interview, etc." Kudos to Webster's assessment. The only words missing from the definition are "trash," "ridiculous" and "cheap."

Now's the time to become a pirate

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

Peeps do not fare well when put to the test

Easter has come and gone like a gypsy caravan once again, but one thing still remains — Easter candy. Checking expiration dates on bags and containers, 1999 Easter candy should last until 2450. People decide to buy candy following the holiday in hopes of big bargains.

A specific type of candy has intrigued many and plagued worldwide analysists with a simple question, "What is a Peep?"

Baseball and math add up

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life

So many firsts, so little time

The race is on for the first millennium baby. Some experts believe the race should start sometime next week. Every year, the first birth is always an interesting event. Think of the accolades the first-born 2000 baby will receive.

Unfortunately, there's a better chance of seeing Burt Reynolds at a polka convention than predicting the day your child will be born.

Pages

Random News

Men vs. women: Who's smarter?

This question is easy. Of course, women are smarter. Or wait, maybe it's men. Or maybe it's neither.

If you listen to psychologists Paul Irwing and Richard Lynn, you might think men are more intelligent than women by about five IQ points on average. The study is due to be published in the British Journal of Psychology.

What did they say? Can you tap the tune for me?

I change the radio stations more often than politicians change their minds. On one hand, it's great because I usually hear a large variety of songs, or at least parts of them. On the flip side, however, it's tough to hear all of the lyrics while constantly tuning different stations and wondering where all of the Social Security money is going.

Vote if you can

The time has come again to actually make a difference in the outlook for your city, county, state and country. Will you be an active participant this time around?

Sure, one vote may not mean much. But if everyone used the same philosophy, no one would vote, except perhaps the candidates and a few random people who vote Mickey Mouse every year. While it would be nice to have streets made out of cheese, do you really want a mouse running the house?

Book review: "Rob Neyer's Big Book of Baseball Lineups"

As a huge fan of baseball, I enjoy reliving the past seasons, teams and players that I may have seen, read or heard at some point in time. Rob Neyer cleverly combines the best and worst of every Major League Baseball team in his "Big Book of Baseball Lineups".

Ninjas are terribly high on the pecking order

In the latest IM tellin', Sean and I debate the rules that really should govern ninjas, among other things.

Sean: vampires, by nature, are essentially smooth criminals

Sean: if you think about it

Ben: that is a good point ... almost like ninjas

Sean: ninjas are not smooth criminals

Sean: because you cannot by any means measure a ninja to be smooth or not

Sean: because....who is going to see them?

Pages

Subscribe to Front page feed