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One big disadvantage working at night is the television quality when I arrive home. Sometimes there could be a "Perfect Strangers" rerun or two, and possibly an old game show, but most channels are overrun by infomercials.

Webster defines an infomercial as "a long television commercial, often made to resemble a talk show, educational demonstration, interview, etc." Kudos to Webster's assessment. The only words missing from the definition are "trash," "ridiculous" and "cheap."

Now's the time to become a pirate

There are a plenty of new careers and opportunities these days, yet you rarely see anyone entering the piracy field. Some people have invented their own versions of a shipwrecked pirate - stealing stereos, hacking into computer files, playing baseball in Pittsburgh - but few take their chances on the high seas.

On the other hand, the Assocated Press said pirates killed more people in 1998 than the year before. The International Maritime Bureau reported Malaysian pirates, who killed 67 crewmen last year, are "getting increasingly violent."

Pirates? Violent?

Peeps do not fare well when put to the test

Easter has come and gone like a gypsy caravan once again, but one thing still remains — Easter candy. Checking expiration dates on bags and containers, 1999 Easter candy should last until 2450. People decide to buy candy following the holiday in hopes of big bargains.

A specific type of candy has intrigued many and plagued worldwide analysists with a simple question, "What is a Peep?"

Baseball and math add up

Today we will discuss a simple mathematical equation.

Baseball = Life

On the surface, it's a pretty simple equation. But it can be expanded to read the following: stitches/323(Yankees) * Concession stands^3+tickets - 37(fungoes) = Life

So many firsts, so little time

The race is on for the first millennium baby. Some experts believe the race should start sometime next week. Every year, the first birth is always an interesting event. Think of the accolades the first-born 2000 baby will receive.

Unfortunately, there's a better chance of seeing Burt Reynolds at a polka convention than predicting the day your child will be born.

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Random News

'Corporate Ties' rewrites completed

I've made a few adjustments to my new book, "Corporate Ties." While almost completely factually accurate, I have decided to change the names of most of the people involved with the story. Because a few years have passed since the happenings, I think I can be a little more open with people's responses to certain things that occurred. The story line involves following a few individuals through a corporate relocation/layoff process, mixed in with a love story and a large amount of shenanigans. I'm hoping to have the first copies out by Christmas, if plans go accordingly!

A crock of a column

Most people probably think Crock-Pots, stoneware slow cookers, are about as interesting as clothes hangers. They take up space, are decorated with small vegetable pictures and stand out like a drunk at a frat party.

But the real question concerning the cookware is — how come everything you put in a Crock-Pot always tastes like ... a Crock-Pot?

SitePal the new Max Headroom

I'm not a big fan of sound on websites, but talking heads with sound? OK, now you have my attention. SitePal apparently delivers just that, with somewhat freakish characters that appear to be saying what is actually being said. As the site says, for as little as $9.95 a month, you can have a SitePal on YOUR very own site. It appears the company also makes custom Pals, as I found one for Santa Claus.

Website selling personal info ... but how much?

Is it possible to obtain someone's personal information online? There's a site that proclaims this is the case ... for a price.

As reported by Snopes.com, ZabaSearch.com will tell you everything the site can find regarding a particular person. Snopes coughed up $20 and received some personal information, but nothing that couldn't be found already through public records.

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