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It's post time for shopping season

Every year on the day after Thanksgiving, the media covers 13,205,129,675 stories about how it's the busiest shopping day of the year. A story in the paper says Biff Smith got to K-Mart at 2 a.m. so he could be first in line to buy the newest Pokemon stuff for his son. Then there's a TV shot of Emma Jean Santaclaus, who purchased $5,000 worth of Barbie accessories for her 27 children. Then on radio, an anonymous man outside any mall says, "Yeah, it's pretty crowded in there. I guess I picked the wrong day to get my watch fixed."

Here's the site for living in the past

A rarity on the Web is a site that can keep one entertained for longer than 20 minutes. The only chance most sites have at this is by spending 18 minutes loading some cool program that can do your laundry while you wait.

JFK learns how to build HTML tables

Those of you who have mastered the art of building a Web site have probably encountered the most important tool known to designers: the protractor.

Coming in second would have to be tables, the backbone to many pages you have visited in your lifetime, or at least within the last three weeks. Tables are the most primitive of the HTML tags because people like to have things in nice readable fashion, excluding tabloid magazines. Most people prefer tabloids that look similar to newspapers more than 40 years ago, which contained at least 343 headlines on each page.

The results are in: Bush, Gore lose to The Golf Channel

I have one simple request for Christmas -- that someone, ANYONE, will finally be named president. Yes, we have George W. and Al, but if they name Al W. George out of Minot, N.D., instead, that would be fine.

What caused this whole problem? The people of the United States, of course, always trying to stir up trouble, whether it's at the local moose lodge or bingo hall. Can't people fill in the correct circles? Can't people count votes right? Can't people use turning signals when changing lanes?

E-mails overrunning a business near you

Is this what the world is coming to? People sitting 6 inches away from each other will not talk to each other but instead, write short e-mails?

An example:

From: Someone

Sent: November, Wednesday 1, 2000 11:41 AM

To: Someone else

Subject: Outside

Did you see that?

From the Archive

Keep your compressed graphics from becoming junkers

Very seldom do I read an article on the Web and say to myself, "Wow! I've been wondering how that works since I learned how to make prank phone calls when I was 4 years old!"

I'll just fill up my bottle at the water fountain, thank you

Coca-Cola has been treading in deep waters the last few months.

In March, the United Kingdom version of Dasani, the company's brand of bottled water, was found to just be tap water. And just a few weeks later, the drink was found to have a higher level of bromate, a cancer-causing chemical, than legally allowed.

Are you dead or alive

It has come to my attention that celebrities really

do have everything. I'm not just talking about stardom,

money and infomercials selling things like the Flowbee.

If at any time celebrities question whether or not they

are dead, they can find out instantly at Dead

or Alive.

Free fuel for your car

With the skyrocketing price of gasoline (the last I checked, it was cheaper to buy a new car that comes with a full tank of gas than to fill up my own car), many people are looking for transportation alternatives. While the teleport is still under construction (Seriously! I'm almost finished with it!), one thing that is available is a modification kit for your vehicle so you can run your car on vegetable oil.

Hello book industry ... are you concerned with the environment?

This is probably one of the strangest articles I've ever written, because it pertains to me communicating with a bunch of people and finding out hardly any information. The bad part, however, is the lack of cooperation bodes badly not just for the few individuals I contacted, but the entire book industry.

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