Ninjas are terribly high on the pecking order

In the latest IM tellin', Sean and I debate the rules that really should govern ninjas, among other things.

Sean: vampires, by nature, are essentially smooth criminals

Sean: if you think about it

Ben: that is a good point ... almost like ninjas

Sean: ninjas are not smooth criminals

Sean: because you cannot by any means measure a ninja to be smooth or not

Sean: because....who is going to see them?

Ben: fluent: smooth and unconstrained in movement

Ben: i think by virtue of not being able to see them, if it's witnessed that a ninja is at point a, and then at a later time at point b, then his/her movement would have to qualify as smooth, no?

Sean: but for all you know

Sean: the motion between point a and point b could have been the most jerky, strange, robotic movement ever made

Ben: but if you don't notice it, does it really happen?

Sean: plus, ninjas exist on a higher plane of existance

Sean: so they cannot be quantified or categorized by normal standards

Ben: now you're going overboard

Ben: you are treating ninjas like chuck norris!

Sean: take a few seconds to think about what chuck norris really is

Sean: and you will realize that he but sits on the highest rank of ninja

Ben: i can agree with that

Ben: but you can't lump all ninjas into elite class

Ben: because if you do that, then an elite class ceases to exist

Ben: there have to be bad ninjas, if there are good ones

Sean: which is why he sits ABOVE the highest rank of ninja

Sean: there is no class that can hold a man of chuck norris' stature

Ben: so, let me get this straight

Ben: single-celled amoeba -> .... -> fish -> ...

Ben: -> man -> ninjas -> chuck norris

Sean: put into simple terms, yes

Ben: ok

Ben: but you can still classify fish as being smooth or not smooth

Ben: it's linear ...

Ben: so unless man is completely separate from ninjas and chuck norris, then those rules could still apply

Ben: oh, how could i forget!

Ben: you are a secular humanist

Ben: now this makes PERFECT sense

Ben: sorry for the confusion ... as a liberal quaker, some things are just too hot to handle, and too cold to hold

Sean: haha

Sean: clearly our religious beliefs do not come together on this issue

Sean: you know what that means right?

Sean: I have no choice but to call a crusade

Ben: i do not call it a crusade ... i call it a jihad ... therefore ... you must die!

Sean: prepare to be inquisitioned!

Ben: prepare to be basted, turkey!

Sources

Ask A Ninja

What Religion Am I?