So the other day, I remembered I needed to contact Michelle Branch.
This seemed like a simple goal at the onset, but there were various problems: How would I go about actually doing this? What did I need to tell her? Who is she anyway?
So the other day, I remembered I needed to contact Michelle Branch.
This seemed like a simple goal at the onset, but there were various problems: How would I go about actually doing this? What did I need to tell her? Who is she anyway?
Is the new year really any different than the year that just passed?
The short answer is no. The long answer is yes. The longer answer is possible, but not probable, and the medium answer is, well, I think I forgot the question.
Back to the short answer, which if I recall, is NO! The year 2004 will be so much like 2003 that you will actually be able to use the same wall and desk calendars, if you haven't already thrown them away. Do not fret, however, because last year's calendars are today's clearance items at your local store.
Can you believe anything anymore? I'm starting to wonder this myself. I open
the paper and see accusations flung about everyone from Michael Jackson, the
king of pop, to Arnold Schwarzenegger, the kindergarten cop. Are they innocent?
Are they guilty? Are they both aliens from a different planet anyway?
Amazingly enough, there is a place on the Web that you are GUARANTEED to find
actual facts about many different items. And when I say guarantee, I don't
mean it like, "I guarantee you will enjoy this lifetime supply of shark
If you're like me, you receive a large number of forwarded emails from friends;
many of them are funny, many are factually incorrect and many are just pointless.
Then again, if you are like me, you have worn an eye patch for the eighth consecutive
year at Halloween, but that's beside the point.
Another popular email forward are those in which people list a bunch of questions
about themselves. They might mention their favorite food, their middle name,
their favorite smell, anything that could help you understand who they are,
Imagine going to the library to find a specific piece of literature. The problem is, you remember the words "corn" and "facade" are in the title, but you can't remember the author or any other information. Was it "The Children of the Corn Facade"? Or maybe "The Facade of Corn Flakes"?
I decided to open up the mailbag and answer some of the questions that readers
have asked me recently. Then I realized that I'm not Santa Claus, and people
don't send me letters. This isn't completely true, as I did portray Santa in
a third-grade Christmas play, even though I ripped part of the suit just before
the play began.
So I don't have any letters with questions, just comments about various columns.
But this will not stop me from answering some of those questions that people
I cannot really say there is a particular genre of movies I like the best. Comedy, suspense, sci-fi, horror, even those touted by some as chick flicks are enjoyable. Regardless of the type, computers seem to be popping up in movies about as often as I receive email viruses with the subjects "Your details" or "Wicked Screensaver." Way gnarly, dude!
There are a lot of things the World Wide Web can do for you, but healing you is not one of them.
While there is a bounty of useful items on the Internet, there is also that vague area of things that serve some purpose, but by themselves, would be utterly useless.
An obvious example of this is a Web counter. Create a Web page by putting nothing on it other than a counter. Put it on the Web. What does it prove? If people actually go to your site, they are insane? True, but in a sense, we already know that everyone is crazy.
I hope you made it to my column today in one piece.
Surely there was no traffic on the trip to work, no wrecks to get in your way and no coffee to spill on that new "Dukes of Hazzard" tie your grandmother gave you for Christmas. Just like any other day, I bet you walked into your office or computer room, started up your computer and immediately accessed the Web, right?