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HONK!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!? DON'T CUT IN FRONT OF ME YOU $#%#$@!!! HONK!!! HONK!!!

If this is you, and you also happen to find yourself saying these things often -- OK, every single time you drive more than 33 inches -- then you may be enthused to know I would like to do something about it.

Yes, soon there could be a way to get back at all of those people who pull up right on your bumper; who say using a turning signal is merely a fad; and who think the word "yield" means "go" and the word "merge" means "get outta my way."

I'm sure you've seen it: A Web site that has an amazing design, with bright

colors, animation and various neat effects. But after the awe goes away (10

seconds later) you begin to wonder: Where am I supposed to click?

A large portion

of Web designers have this problem. They think the more creative they

are, the better the Web site becomes. While uniqueness is key

to making a site design stand out, it is important to remember the end user.

That's you! Forgetting that Internet pages should be geared toward the

I thought I had finally recovered from my addiction, but it has come back

to haunt me. Luckily, I am able to handle it through indulging for short periods

of time, and it mysteriously goes away, almost as fast as

it hit me.

Yes, you guessed it. The addiction is video games. Another good way

for me to stay away from video games is to just be so freakin' busy that

I don't have

time to play. But I have to make time for Circus

Just when I can't find a topic to produce a column, and the only thing that

comes to mind is record-size

exotic fish, up pops something that should allow

me to keep my job for at least another few months.

From a story

on PC World,

the World Wide Web Consortium announced a formal policy ensuring

that key Web technologies, even if patented,

If you were greatly anticipating my column this week, I have something a little

different than normal in store for you. Actually, if you are really anticipating

my column ANY week, I recommend you seek professional help, because that is

not normal.

I have created a simple compatibility test, which matches you, the

reader with

you, the movie star/singer. If you are one of the 12 selected celebrities

who are on the list, and you find out you are not compatible with yourself,

it's

It takes me anywhere from 45 minutes to two hours to write this column. Every

two hours in the world, the following things, on average, occur:

I would gather that everyone reading this column has seen a computer before. I'm also betting that just about everyone reading has an email address, which means this is directed at YOU.

Surely you haven't been left out of the loop of this year's March Madness. By the time you are reading this, you have probably filled out 50 brackets for various pools, trying to determine if one of your combinations will win that free umbrella your employer is supplying. Another important thing to figure out is if IUPUI is an actual team or if it is just made up of players from both Indiana and Purdue.

You're probably getting sick of me telling you every thing, EVERY SINGLE THING, can be found on the Internet. Then again, you might be thinking, "Sure chief, everything is on the Internet, but what if I want it for myself?"

What is love?
Baby don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me.
No more.

I'm not trying to take credit for the chorus of Haddaway's "famous" song. I guess it depends on who is asked if this would be considered famous or infamous. I still cannot get the image of Chris Katan and Will Ferrell from "A Night at the Roxbury" out of my head every time I think of this song. I'm also one of nine people on the planet who like that movie, and I'm still uncertain why.